Thursday, February 10, 2011


Marriages fail for a number of reasons. Couples drift apart, one of them cheats, a spouse discovers that the magic is gone or that her partner is a cross-dresser, and so on. These are all painful developments that can only be dealt with through maturity, understanding and time, and maybe a few bouts of binge drinking. Eventually, the pain fades with time and the injured parties go their separate ways to, hopefully, find other and more suitable mates.

Or, alternatively, they could just blame Facebook.

That’s right, the world’s top social networking site is also fast becoming one of its most popular scapegoats for the demise of marriage. Late last year, Churchgoers were warned by their pastor “Thou shalt not Facebook”, who feared Facebook was ruining the marriages of his congregation.

Maybe he was right...

“Facebook ruined my relationship!” pages are springing up faster than Farmville followers, in which bitter sad sacks detail how spending time on the site has led to the breakdown of their relationship, and/or divorce.

Awwww, can you hear the violins?

It’s hard for some people to take personal responsibility, but come on people. Facebook? If someone can’t own up to their or their marriage’s failings, they can at least come up with a more creative excuse than Facebook. Perhaps an inappropriate astrological configuration, the fact that AC/DC isn’t doing a reunion tour in 2011, lack of affection for your mate’s pet Kimodo dragon… anything, really, that shows a spark of intellect and humor. What’s next, blaming your health problems on Twitter?

It seems that some people apparently forgot that social networking, by its very name, is a public phenomenon. Anyone in the social networks’ tangle – well, those curious enough to look at such pages, at any rate – can see a name and a face attached to the whines and complaints on “Facebook (name your grievance here)”. It’s already pathetic that someone is scapegoating Facebook for their marriage breakdown; doing it in public is just humiliating and embarrassing.

Why not simply run into the middle of a crowd, scantily clothed, perhaps downtown Manhattan at midday, and start yelling about how the chosen scapegoat has made your life miserable? Screaming is far more therapeutic than typing a wall post will ever come close to. There’s more bang for the buck right there, plus maybe the local news crews will discover you and you’ll become famous for a few minutes – or even longer like Kate Gosselin.

Ha, that could be a new fan page right there! “Facebook turned me into a screaming weirdo humiliating herself in public, and I got a reality show.”

Wow, social media really can be useful and instructive, don’t you think?

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