Having Your Cake and Eating It, AIG Style

In an ideal world, we get to have our cake and eat it - every last calorie-laden crumb. But in the real world we live in today where business giants have been allowed to gorge on their proverbial cake (read: taxpayer dollars), there comes a price for having it all. AIG, the great American Insurance GIANT that was not allowed to fail, is up in arms about pay czar Kenneth Feinberg’s strict anti-bonus diet.

Poor AIG leaders. Where else can you lose billions of dollars, stick your hand out for $170+ billion and then retreat quietly back to your boardroom in anticipation of your $3 million year-end bonus.

Threatening to quit after just three months at the helm, AIG’s recently appointed chief executive Robert Benmosche backed down and scurried back to AIG’s Ivory Tower. Coward. The FT reports that around a dozen top level executives and business managers have left AIG in the past few months.

If those “executives and business managers” were in involved with the massive scourge that AIG has left behind for American taxpayers to swallow, I sincerely hope that they're working three jobs at minimum wage or digging holes in our roads right now.

And for those who didn’t know it, having your cake and it eating is a fairy tale. Somebody somewhere has to pay the price for someone’s mistake. AIG seems to be learning that the hard way.

Thanks to Francesco Guerrera of the FT for his excellent reporting on AIG.

What Are Words For?

From my column on Marketing Daily's "Beyond The Press Release" 11/11/09

What are words for, when no one listens anymore?" Do you remember that song? It came out during the same era of "Video killed the radio star." Okay, so I'm a child of the late 70s/early '80s, that prehistoric time when TVs had no remotes, when a huge VCR (remember the Betamax?) sat in the Hi-Fi center along with ABBA and Dr. Hook LPs, and a computer was something on which you played Atari Tennis or Pac-man.

Back then, we all learned to write in the same cursive script. At my school, we used a fountain pen with blue-ink cartridges that leaked all over your fingers, a constant reminder of the toils of the written word: Grammar was sacrosanct and there were no distractions in the classroom with iPhones, texts or IMing, only boys and passed notes. Back then, we didn't mess around with language to create new "isms" to suit a campaign or a whole new line of marketing buzzwords that would eventually be so passé, they became offensive.

It was a simple time, I admit, but we communicated with clarity. Real words, devoid of BS and convoluted meanings. We didn't have to create a paradigm shift to evangelize the next generation of social media influencers who would start deploying SMM platforms to strategically position thought leaders to take it to the next level. We didn't need to apply a holistic approach to Web 2.0 enhancements that would enable enablers to join the conversation and engage their audience by retweeting and Digging. We didn't even need to realign ourselves with a new media landscape to garner attention, augment a comprehensive results-oriented process that would deliver stellar ROI and increased awareness on a sentiment index to measure positive feelings out there in the blogosphere.

Nope, back then we didn't have to worry about using forward-thinking, innovative, disruptive technological advancements to deliver increased brand affinity and build synergistic partnerships that would transcend the status quo and bring about a sea change in performance-driven, cutting-edge, high-impact, integrated solutions with location-aware abilities to deliver best-in-class results. And we never once worried about the power of integrating scalable platforms to stimulate online conversations led by social media disciples who were eternally cautious practitioners of pre-populating devices and dashboards to solidify infrastructural advancements that would engender loyalty and strategic alliances.

We didn't even have to think outside the box to break through the clutter.

Know what I mean?

What I actually mean is that we're losing the meaning of our words. From the sublime to the ridiculous, truly. Our parlance is being reduced to symbols, acronyms and a series of hyphenated verbs-come-adjectives, as more people forget the communications basics: Say what you mean with clarity, brevity and intelligence. Instead, we've worked ourselves into a frenzied mash-up and indeed breakdown of "impressive" words.

Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest?

At the heart of every sales pitch, press release or marketing campaign is a message, one that is supposed to communicate an inherent and useful value for a product or service. For many, this act of communicating now requires oral gimmickry or just plain stupidness. Shame on us. It's taken thousands of years to create such a complex linguistic machine, and less than 30 to kill it.

It's not just English, or Americanese, however. The Real Academia Española is also facing challenges as the Spanish language adapts itself to absorb global language trends and cultural changes.

I agree that verbose writing is just as much of a turnoff in any language, but in our quest to sound more clevererer, bang out more messages faster, tweet and Facebook ourselves to oblivion, and send out communiqué littered with grandiose-sounding words, we've both devalued our language and the meaning of the words we use. And become a lot more brainless in the process. When we've reduced any number of words to WTF, OMG and LMFAO, which have entered a multi-generational lexicon and are creeping into regular business correspondence, what's left?

Anyone got a new word for that? Perhaps you'll find one in a game I recently updated called B#$%S^$T Bingo.

Feel free to send me your suggestions, too.

Don’t Mess With My Vegemite, Mate!

The NYT recently ran a story about a campaign by the Kraft Corporation in Australia, looking for a name to brand their new Vegemite/creamcheese concoction. As I’m an Aussie, I have a special affinity for Vegemite - the rest of you think it’s vile, I know.

But Kraft’s marketing department went where angels fear to tread. They messed with our sacred Vegemite, STRUTH! They combined the Aussies’ rich gooey staple with cream cheese and sent it out with a no-name label inviting the Australian public to create a name for this very, um, unique spread.

The initial winner? Vegemite iSnack 2.0, which was met by public outrage. Vegemite-lovers from Hobart to Woop Woop voiced their indignation, and went straight to social media as their squawk box. They twittered, and blogged, and created websites dedicated to re-naming the spread. In the land of down-under, like AFL (Australian Football League) and Swan Draught (beer), Vegemite is something you don’t screw with.

One person suggested that the 27-year-old designer who’d submitted the winning name be smeared with Vegemite and forced to run naked through the streets of Sydney “as retribution for his cultural crime.” Others called the name “uStupid 1.0” and “un-Australian.”

Nuff said. Four days later and Kraft caved in. A new vote was cast and a new name settled upon - Cheesybite.

To be fair, Kraft’s research showed that Aussies wanted a more spreadable version of their beloved Vegemite and the product per se has met with great success. Kraft’s failing was not in the product extension, it was its deafness and inability to act appropriately – it had not chosen the winner by popular vote.

The moral to this story? Don’t underestimate the power of social media. It’s become an enabler for voicing our passion and displeasure en masse. iSnack 2.0 (which is a dreadful name, besides) proved that consumers will use social media (and whatever tools they have at their disposal) to spread their messages like bushfires.

By the way, Vegemite sales have not slowed since the introduction of Cheesybite. Aussies know which side of the bread is buttered.

A Purpose Driven Life? Only If It’s Free….

Hoping to capitalize on the success of pastor Rick Warren’s A Purpose Driven Life, in January Reader’s Digest Association (RDA) launched a quarterly print publication to complement Warren’s Purpose Driven Connection. For an annual fee of just $29.95, the project offered a shebang of goodies - DVDs, study group guides and access to its website – all necessary in the quest of finding purpose!

10 months in, and RDA turned off the life support. In spite of A Purpose Driven Life’s rapid online audience growth, it seems that not enough purpose-seekeers were willing to pay for a subscription.

Is it because, like the Wiccans, Christians believe that spiritual knowledge is universal and already belongs to everyone? Or maybe they thought they should get a rebate on their 10% tithe? Perhaps they felt bad about the environment and wanted to save some trees? Or just plain skint?

I believe it’s because Christians - along with the rest of us - have grown so accustomed getting whatever information we want for FREE that consciously or not, we resent having to pay for it.

Is that fair? Absolutely not. In any other transaction or business process, NOBODY GIVES ME ANYTHING FOR FREE. NOBODY. Somebody, somewhere has to pay for the content that we voraciously consume by the megabytes, the research and journalism to accumulate the information, the cost of creating and updating and editing, SEO, advertising, brand building..... and the list goes on!

Quality content is created and presented by professionals – real people whose livelihood depends on real income from their work.

If the public, regardless of their faith or purpose does not support the development of intelligent and informed content, then where is it going to come from?

And more importantly, will it even be worth reading?

Unlikely.

4 essential tactics for wooing mommy and daddy bloggers

The opinion-shaping group is powerful—and idiosyncratic

Mommy bloggers, despite their unfortunate moniker (it makes them sound frumpy), have become a fixture in the marketing and PR landscape.

It’s only natural that we seek endorsements and testimonials from them. Mommy (and daddy) bloggers are a natural outcropping of the blogging phenomenon, and smart marketers have been looking for ways to capitalize on this digital voice, as they do with every group that gains consumer-influencing power.

The downside to the phenomenon of these blogs, however, is that the ethical guidelines that apply to mommy and daddy bloggers, and the products they review, have been incredibly slow to coalesce. It’s become a free-for-all: The FTC’s recent ruling, which requires bloggers of all stripes to disclose whether the products they review were provided free, has brought to the fore many examples of what not to do. But given that mommy and daddy bloggers aren’t going anywhere soon, what are the best ways for marketers to pursue these coveted endorsements?

For my 4 essential tactics, click here.

There Will Be No Renaissance Without 21st Century Education

I read an op en in the NYT by Susan Engel, Director of the Program in Teaching at Williams College. In her article, Teach Your Teachers Well she cited academia's "turning its nose up at education" as one of the core issues that keeps the field from attracting and sustaining the brightest minds to teach in our public school systems. Hence the dumbing down of our youth - and our international status as laughing stock when the topic of education comes up. I happen to agree.

This isn't the only issue to be dealt with, but it's a good start.

Engel says we need hybrid teacher programs that demand a high GPA in order to participate and that teachers should undergo an extensive application program. This would, invariably, weed out the ones signing up for the long summer hols and highlight those individuals with a passion not only for teaching, but for learning. I teach, therefore I learn should become the motto.

Engel also recommends that teachers be taught in-depth about the development of children at specific ages and how to relate to them. She recommends mentoring programs under masterful educators and that the students, like psychology students, should be taped and critqued on their in-classroom performance.

Another of her brilliant ideas was to hire teachers in groups (of 7 or more), so when they are placed in a new school environment they’ll be surrounded by an (incoming) support group – new teachers - not left to fend for themselves or be ostracized by seniority or under-performing teachers threatened by fresh meat. This in turn would raise the bar, and set a much higher standard for all – newcomers and old.

Of course, there are other issues that hamper the process and keep our education system malfunctioning – overcrowded classrooms, unmonitored teaching practices, curriculums that don’t engage students or address urban issues, lack of innovative (or even new) technology for students to learn on, diminished arts and music programs, and dysfunctional or apathetic parents and teachers. You get the picture.

But Engel's ideas map out a beautiful plan of action that could easily tackle several of these seemingly inherent problems.

America needs a Renaissance, desperately. And for that, the country needs passionate, educated and competent teachers to create a generation of vibrant, educated and fully-functioning people – ready to re-enter the global workforce and compete, competitively.

"The student is only as good as his teacher " . We can do better, a lot better.

You, Me and the FTC

In response to a new mandate on bloggers imposed by the FTC, MediaPost’s Max Kalhoff wrote in his Online Spin column,” I don't like government meddling in my personal speech….I look to the court of public opinion and trusted communities as a more viable arbiter of truth, deception and reputation -- not ambiguous government guidelines.”

He’s not alone.

There’s a lot of uproar about the FTC tracking the blogosphere and the transparency of the blogger/content provider relationship. Why? Because the FTC’s new rules state that any blogger who offers an endorsement in their postings must disclose any payments received for the acknowledgement. Failure to do so could lead to a penalty of up to $11,000.

Hhhmmm. That’s quite a dilemma, for bloggers and for the companies who’ve been courting an increasingly powerful “new media” channel. We’ve all been trying to monetize the internet since its inception, and now that bloggers have seemingly found a way, the FTC steps in to re-write the rules.

So while the bloggers and bloggees are sweating it out, I see a positive angle emerging here – for journalism. That, versus the gazillion content producers who offer varying qualities of data on any topic imaginable. This mandate will separate the hobby bloggers from the serious writers who offer value - an informed opinion.

Delineating these lines could actually save us countless hours of research, seeking out real information that we can trust and use in our lives, and our work. Life is too short to follow up on every advocacy piece to ensure its accuracy and bias. Some form of regulation to define a “gift” from a company seeking positive spin and PR from an unbiased consumer review is something from which we will all benefit. And being in the PR profession, I am confronted by this “dilemma” on a daily basis. I don’t pay journalists to review - or criticize - my clients’ services or products, so why should I pay bloggers?

Having a set of standards will help bring credibility back to traditional journalism, and accountability for bloggers. There simply needs to be.